Age is Just a Number

38 Write about the age you are now. How does it feel? Better or worse than you expected? Rise and Link

I will turn 50 by the end of the year.  Where did these years go?  Both my parents and my in-laws were grandparents well before they turned 50, but I can't imagine that  experience happening for many years. While I am reaching that milestone year, I am not bothered about it all in terms of age. I am dealing with chronic arthritis pain, but most days I just push forward and function the same way every elses does. I have more blessings that bothers in the big sense, and genuinely believe I have a good life. Over the last decades, as I have developed friendships with people both older and younger  than me, I have learned not to have expectations about what life should or will be like at certain ages. For instance, my friend K, a confirmed bachelor for most of her life. She never met anyone in her younger years, though she had several proposals, that she wanted to build a life with. Then, about ten years ago she met J, a single parent of two grown children, and grandfather of three. K and J just celebrated their 7  anniversary, and K's 60th birthday.  Life just is. 

Age really is just a number in my head, but using my age as a point of tracking time, I sometimes get completely overwhelmed.  While I didn't put expectation on myself  and my life-married by 22, children by 25, promotion by 30, grandparent by 55, and so on, I do feel like the years are going by faster than I have time to experience everything I want to. I want to be there for my kids milestone events-their plays, their concerts their film debuts, their nesting in new homes, their day to day life.  I want to be there for my friends and family and experience their highs with them, and support them in their lows. I want to make sure I have time to hang out and just play with my friends! I want to volunteer more and help make a difference  in the world. I want to have the time to travel, and not just travel to new places, go back to the places I really loved and dive into the culture, the atmosphere, the day to day happenings as more than a tourist. 

I don't aspire to be rich, but I realize that to do all the things I want to accomplish, all the things I want to experience with regularity, money is a necessity.  To those ends, I get overwhelmed at times in prioritizing where to spend my money and where to spend my time. Fifty as an age is fine by me.  Fifty as a marker that my life is probably more than half over, is a bit daunting.  Yet, the saying Every Day is a Gift, is so true.