Once I had my first "gig", it seems I had an endless supply of them for the next five years. I'm talking about my babysitting jobs. First, for family, watching nieces and nephews, for long nights and very little pay, less than the going rate would have been had they hired non family. In those days $1.00 an hour was pretty typical, but often, more for families that had more kids, or required you to feed the kids. Not in my faily, and a few conveniently nver seemed ot have cash when they got home, so would pay me next time. I picked up jobs for neighbor families, and took jobs passed on by my friends who had to turn down for either another scheduled job, or a family commitment. Those were usually the best paying jobs because I was helping out in a pinch.
For family though, and I am ashamed to admit it, I did not like to babysit in my junior high years, even though I did so much of it. I found the kids annoying, and the parents, my siblings, even ore so, regularly switching up the rules on me. I had multiple plans cancelled because without prior notice, the end time changed by several hours. I started to resent both parents and kids as I felt like I didn't even get a say in babysitting for family members. It was just assumed that if one of them needed a baby sitter, their life was more important than mine, so I was expected to buck it up and say yes. I had multiple Saturdays, intending to enjoy a quiet day, when suddenly, the kids would be dropped off, and I was now expected to watch them. It was always unpaid when at my mom and dads.
In families, we often feel under appreciated as I often did, and was passive aggressive about it, never speaking my mind. It showed when I was with the kids instead. I had been the babysitter the kids didn't want, but were stuck with, their misbehavior a response. As I moved into high school, I matured in my own human development besides age. Looking back, there was a lot of mental health and destructive issues circling my extended family. As an adolescent, I was too young and immature to understand, and only could see how I thought I was being dumped on. Then slowly, over time, as I was getting out of the awkward, cranky, antagonistic early teen years, I started to appreciate the little beings as something more than mess makers. A few hard situations in my family where I became the comforting aunt, helped me see the caring and compassion I really had for kids.
While babysitting was my first money earned, I never made the big bucks a couple of my friends made with their regular clients. In hind sight, though, I and my nieces and nephews, many who later baby sat for me, earned our battle scars being stuck with each other.
Suddenly my mowing the lawn and pulling weeds seems like pretty cushy work ... the plants never talked back or grew unexpectedly when I had other plans. :)
ReplyDeleteIn hind sight, not every girl, and certainly not at every age, should be baby sitters! I think I turned into a pretty Ok mom though. I would have been a horrible maintenance person though, so you could keep your job.
ReplyDeleteI think you analyzed your feelings and the whole situation really well, Sam. Though I grew up in a completely opposite culture where we just helped each other out (family and neighbors), without being paid for it. And yes, watching someone's small kids would be 100% considered more important than having your own plans or interests. I'm still am overcoming those issues myself, putting everyone else's interests in front of my own for years - not in my family, where I am always treated with respect and love, and never am taken for granted, but in the community work that I was leading. It still blows my mind though that my American daughter gets paid for her housework. :)
ReplyDeleteI know the baby sitter culture is a completely American concept. Of course there were bartered exchanges as well, and helping out to help out was still done. Paid babysitters are just part of the cost of a night out. Did I mention I was an insular teen though, and often held resentment-thank goodness I outgrew that, mostly.
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